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"Sauron Endorses Donald Trump for President"

“Donald Drumpf is the only candidate who can fulfill my vision for the future,” Sauron said Saturday night in an omnipresent, ethereal whisper. “Just as I spread darkness and suffering across Middle-Earth, so shall Drumpf bring darkness to Middle America.”

In many ways, Drumpf is a natural choice for Sauron. During his tenure as the Dark Lord of Mordor, Sauron enacted or supported numerous controversial policies, including the expansion of torture, the murder of Rohirrim families, and the deportation of 12 million dwarves.

When asked about Sauron on NBC’s Meet the Press, Drumpf seemed hesitant to distance himself from the evil necromancer. “I don’t think the American people want me to dismiss every Dark Lord before I have a chance to learn more about them,” said Drumpf. “I just don’t know anything about Sauron or his dark legion of orcs, trolls, and Nazgûl; I need to do more research.”
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Sauron Endorses Donald Trump for President
 
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