I'm sure we used to have a rant thread, but it seems to have myseriously disappeared. Now however I'm bringing it back, because this shit sucks bruvs.
Greetings and salutations fellow denizens of the internet.
As you all know minecraft is a wonderful game, and with all the cool new additions in 1.9 and the fact that I haven't really played singleplayer MC in years I decided that I should give singleplayer another go. Full of joy, excitement and expectation I boot up minecraft and select 1.9 in the launcher. This gon be gud. I click play, sit back, and wait.
and wait
and wait some more.
Wut? Why isn't it doing anything? Spamming the play button I realise shit's broken. Not too worry though, I'm sure a quick restart will fix things... nope. Trying other versions everything seems to work just fine. So I read the logs:
Allright, an update to my launcher, but didn't I just restart? I restart again, it isn't updating. Now I have to reinstall minecraft.
MFW reinstalling minecraft for the 26th time in my life.
But it's easy and quick. Minecraft isn't that big. It takes only a minute and I'm off to behold the glory and wonders that can be found in the lands of Minecraft 1.9
I put in MaDReD, and my password.
Surprise bitch! That's not how this works, you need your mojang account to login now idiot. But I don't know this, I have logged in once over a year ago, and can't even remember the last time I logged in before then. All I know is: I want to play minecraft, so on we go.
I try all my usual passwords, nothing works.
Hmm, I did change my minecraft name, maybe I need to use my old name to log in.
Try that, nothing works.
Click forgot password, this site shows up.
Oh shit, I have a mojang account. Now it's easy. I just have to use my gaming email to log in.
It's not working... click forgot password, enter email. It says it has send me instructions if there is a minecraft account associated with the mojang account, wait 5 mins. No instructions. Search mojang and minecraft in my inbox. There's no official minecraft emails...
Maybe I used my personal email to sign into my minecraft account? Search my personal mail inbox. There it is!
I log in with my personal email.
Please... did you think it would be that easy. For reasons I'll get into later I can't show you a screenshot, but it said: play demo. Play demo? wat... So I go to mojang.com log in to my mojang account. I have to answer three security questions to prove it's me.
Does anyone ever remember the answers to these stupid questions?
I reset the questions, they make me pick new ones, and I'm in. Oh what is this? I don't own minecraft, surely this must be some mistake. I ponder over this conundrum, my life, and the universe for some time, and eventually return to my inbox to look at the migration email. I mean, I migrated my account so this mojang account must have minecraft.
I set up an email account specifically for minecraft and made it forward any email it got to my personal mail so if I ever forgot that email (which I had) or it's password I would still be able to reset my minecraft password, but mojang wouldn't have my personal email address.
So that's why it wasn't on my general gaming email, it was on a specific minecraft email I made. And my personal email (that now has a mojang account... even though I went through this whole thing to make sure they didn't) didn't have minecraft associated with it, because it was only an automatically forwarded email from a different email.
But now the end is nigh!
Armed with the correct email I storm the impenetrable bastion that is minecrafts launcher.
First password fails...
Second password fails...
Third password fails...
Whyyyyyyyy.
Reset the password for the minecraft email mojang account.
log in using new password
Greetings and salutations fellow denizens of the internet.
As you all know minecraft is a wonderful game, and with all the cool new additions in 1.9 and the fact that I haven't really played singleplayer MC in years I decided that I should give singleplayer another go. Full of joy, excitement and expectation I boot up minecraft and select 1.9 in the launcher. This gon be gud. I click play, sit back, and wait.
and wait
and wait some more.
Wut? Why isn't it doing anything? Spamming the play button I realise shit's broken. Not too worry though, I'm sure a quick restart will fix things... nope. Trying other versions everything seems to work just fine. So I read the logs:
[13:02:26 INFO]: Minecraft Launcher 1.6.13 (through bootstrap 100) started on windows...
[13:02:26 INFO]: Current time is Mar 24, 2016 1:02:26 PM
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('os.name') == 'Windows 7'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('os.version') == '6.1'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('os.arch') == 'amd64'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('java.version') == '1.8.0_65'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('java.vendor') == 'Oracle Corporation'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('sun.arch.data.model') == '64'
[13:02:26 INFO]: proxy == DIRECT
[13:02:26 INFO]: JFX is already initialized
[13:02:26 INFO]: Refreshing local version list...
[13:02:26 INFO]: Refreshing remote version list...
[13:02:27 INFO]: Refresh complete.
[13:02:27 INFO]: Loaded 4 profile(s); selected 'minecraft'
[13:02:27 INFO]: Refreshing auth...
[13:02:27 INFO]: Logging in with access token
[13:02:33 INFO]: Getting syncinfo for selected version
[13:02:33 INFO]: Queueing library & version downloads
[13:02:34 ERROR]: An update to your launcher is available and is required to play 1.9. Please restart your launcher.
[13:02:26 INFO]: Current time is Mar 24, 2016 1:02:26 PM
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('os.name') == 'Windows 7'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('os.version') == '6.1'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('os.arch') == 'amd64'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('java.version') == '1.8.0_65'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('java.vendor') == 'Oracle Corporation'
[13:02:26 INFO]: System.getProperty('sun.arch.data.model') == '64'
[13:02:26 INFO]: proxy == DIRECT
[13:02:26 INFO]: JFX is already initialized
[13:02:26 INFO]: Refreshing local version list...
[13:02:26 INFO]: Refreshing remote version list...
[13:02:27 INFO]: Refresh complete.
[13:02:27 INFO]: Loaded 4 profile(s); selected 'minecraft'
[13:02:27 INFO]: Refreshing auth...
[13:02:27 INFO]: Logging in with access token
[13:02:33 INFO]: Getting syncinfo for selected version
[13:02:33 INFO]: Queueing library & version downloads
[13:02:34 ERROR]: An update to your launcher is available and is required to play 1.9. Please restart your launcher.
Allright, an update to my launcher, but didn't I just restart? I restart again, it isn't updating. Now I have to reinstall minecraft.
MFW reinstalling minecraft for the 26th time in my life.
But it's easy and quick. Minecraft isn't that big. It takes only a minute and I'm off to behold the glory and wonders that can be found in the lands of Minecraft 1.9
I put in MaDReD, and my password.
Surprise bitch! That's not how this works, you need your mojang account to login now idiot. But I don't know this, I have logged in once over a year ago, and can't even remember the last time I logged in before then. All I know is: I want to play minecraft, so on we go.
I try all my usual passwords, nothing works.
Hmm, I did change my minecraft name, maybe I need to use my old name to log in.
Try that, nothing works.
Click forgot password, this site shows up.
Oh shit, I have a mojang account. Now it's easy. I just have to use my gaming email to log in.
It's not working... click forgot password, enter email. It says it has send me instructions if there is a minecraft account associated with the mojang account, wait 5 mins. No instructions. Search mojang and minecraft in my inbox. There's no official minecraft emails...
Maybe I used my personal email to sign into my minecraft account? Search my personal mail inbox. There it is!
I log in with my personal email.
Please... did you think it would be that easy. For reasons I'll get into later I can't show you a screenshot, but it said: play demo. Play demo? wat... So I go to mojang.com log in to my mojang account. I have to answer three security questions to prove it's me.
Does anyone ever remember the answers to these stupid questions?
I reset the questions, they make me pick new ones, and I'm in. Oh what is this? I don't own minecraft, surely this must be some mistake. I ponder over this conundrum, my life, and the universe for some time, and eventually return to my inbox to look at the migration email. I mean, I migrated my account so this mojang account must have minecraft.
I set up an email account specifically for minecraft and made it forward any email it got to my personal mail so if I ever forgot that email (which I had) or it's password I would still be able to reset my minecraft password, but mojang wouldn't have my personal email address.
So that's why it wasn't on my general gaming email, it was on a specific minecraft email I made. And my personal email (that now has a mojang account... even though I went through this whole thing to make sure they didn't) didn't have minecraft associated with it, because it was only an automatically forwarded email from a different email.
But now the end is nigh!
Armed with the correct email I storm the impenetrable bastion that is minecrafts launcher.
First password fails...
Second password fails...
Third password fails...
Whyyyyyyyy.
Reset the password for the minecraft email mojang account.
log in using new password
failed
wuuuuuut
I literally reset it a second ago.
Is it because I clicked the reset link from my main inbox which was still open, instead of the inbox from my rediscovered minecraft mail? It seems like a stretch, but maybe they know, and have super ninja security.
Click reset password again.
Go to minecraft mail inbox.
Forgot password for email.
Reset email's password. Click reset link from new mail, token expired... google merged the two mails into one conversation and put the old one on top, and the new one below.
I suppose it's useful when you have to catch up on a conversation in chronological order, but at this point I was too frustrated to acknowledge this. I unfriended Google on facebook.
I reset my password again.
Login.
Login failed.
Mojang... I will strangle your firstborns
Go on the internet out of despair and find the IRC minecraft help channel.
wuuuuuut
I literally reset it a second ago.
Is it because I clicked the reset link from my main inbox which was still open, instead of the inbox from my rediscovered minecraft mail? It seems like a stretch, but maybe they know, and have super ninja security.
Click reset password again.
Go to minecraft mail inbox.
Forgot password for email.
Reset email's password. Click reset link from new mail, token expired... google merged the two mails into one conversation and put the old one on top, and the new one below.
I suppose it's useful when you have to catch up on a conversation in chronological order, but at this point I was too frustrated to acknowledge this. I unfriended Google on facebook.
I reset my password again.
Login.
Login failed.
Mojang... I will strangle your firstborns
Go on the internet out of despair and find the IRC minecraft help channel.
[12:29:51] <MaDReD> How long does it take for a password reset to take effect? (mojang account)
[12:30:28] <+Andrio> MaDReD, should be instantaneous.
[12:31:10] <AnasPVPZ> But what I sayed I have this problem on more games
[12:31:19] <+Andrio> Oh
[12:31:36] <MaDReD> I change it, it says I changed my password, and than I can't log on using that password
[12:31:37] <+Andrio> AnasPVPZ, try installing this driver: link
[12:31:38] <AnasPVPZ> I got NVIDIA Geforce G210
[12:31:44] <+Andrio> ??> MaDReD login/throttle
[12:31:46] <Absol> MaDReD: After 3 incorrect login attempts, a lockout is placed automatically by Mojang's systems on your network to protect accounts against brute force attacks to gain access.
[12:31:48] <Absol> MaDReD: This lockout is automatic and cannot be overridden, it expires after 3 hours. Wait 3 hours, don't log in at all. Reset your password using Mojang Account -- then try again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UfAL9f74I
Meanwhile at mojang.
I think I'm going to spend my 3 hours playing EU4. And while paradox too is from Sweden, they can not save it from my insatiable thirst for revenge. I shall conquer Sweden as Muscovy, remove Swedish culture from the map, and when I'm done sell every last province to Denmark.
[12:30:28] <+Andrio> MaDReD, should be instantaneous.
[12:31:10] <AnasPVPZ> But what I sayed I have this problem on more games
[12:31:19] <+Andrio> Oh
[12:31:36] <MaDReD> I change it, it says I changed my password, and than I can't log on using that password
[12:31:37] <+Andrio> AnasPVPZ, try installing this driver: link
[12:31:38] <AnasPVPZ> I got NVIDIA Geforce G210
[12:31:44] <+Andrio> ??> MaDReD login/throttle
[12:31:46] <Absol> MaDReD: After 3 incorrect login attempts, a lockout is placed automatically by Mojang's systems on your network to protect accounts against brute force attacks to gain access.
[12:31:48] <Absol> MaDReD: This lockout is automatic and cannot be overridden, it expires after 3 hours. Wait 3 hours, don't log in at all. Reset your password using Mojang Account -- then try again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UfAL9f74I
Meanwhile at mojang.
I think I'm going to spend my 3 hours playing EU4. And while paradox too is from Sweden, they can not save it from my insatiable thirst for revenge. I shall conquer Sweden as Muscovy, remove Swedish culture from the map, and when I'm done sell every last province to Denmark.
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